The dishwasher is permanently on the Sterilize setting.
You consider waking at 7 a.m. sleeping in.
You own four pairs of identical black yoga pants.
Getting your haircut feels like the ultimate luxury.
You have Brown Bear, Brown Bear completely memorized.
Gigantic cartons of Goldfish always make it into your shopping cart.
The checkout people at Target remember you.
Your car (minivan) is always covered in crumbs, wrappers, and unidentifiable sticky substances.
You know every single Wiggles song by heart [and you have a favorite Wiggle].
You haven’t seen the inside of a movie theater for over 5 years.
Picking a booger out of your kid’s nose is second nature.
You scan Pinterest for crafts and recipes that we all know you will never really do.
Going to the bathroom alone is merely a fantasy.
When someone asks what you are “up to” this weekend, you are left speechless.
You inexplicably miss your kids when apart from them for more than one hour.