As a born and bred southern girl, my momma raised me to NEVER say the word “hate”.
So, it is with my deepest regret that I have to inform you..I hate Andrea’s spleen. I think it’s only fair that I share the letter I’ve personally penned to her spleen (mail, tweet, post on facebook...all that jazz).
I don’t like you.
I know that we’ve never met...but, I’m hearing bad things about you.
I don’t even really know what you do exactly.
Do you even have a job?
My friend Andrea seems rather attached to you...but, that’s only because she has to (she was born with you).
If I had the power, I would yank you right out of there!
How could you let CANCER in?
Don’t you know that Andrea is FAR too busy to worry about your uninvited guests?
Don’t you know she’s got two children to take care of (one with a complex heart defect) and she does NOT have the time to be lollygagging around.
Don’t you know that she’s just finishing up nursing school so that she can take care of even more people?
Don’t you know she has the most amazing hair and you’re making it fall out?
Don’t you know that it’s cold in Colorado and she can’t afford to get sick in this weather?
Don’t you know that you’re just stressing her out?
That’s why I hate you.
You are making her doctors pump her full of poison just to get rid of your little cancer buddies. This isn’t good for you or her. What’s wrong with you?
You don’t even care enough about my friend to protect her….that’s why it’s time for you to pack it up and move on out.
You are disgraceful.
You will NOT win!
You have brought together friends and family of Andrea from all over the world. You have inspired us to all pray on her behalf and be there for support. You have allowed her children to see what an amazing woman that she is. You will not take away our Andrea. You have shown her that she has more courage than she ever thought possible.
We will have a party when you’re gone.
And we won’t even miss you.
Your Adversary(unless you clean up your act),