Home Alone

Stacey of onefunnymotha Elementary School

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Perhaps the singular best thing about being left home ALONE for the weekend is having control over the T.V. remote.

To be sure, there are many, many benefits, but that one might be the best since I’ve never once had the privilege. I discovered this special joy one recent weekend when my husband decided to visit his mom some hours away and take the kids with him. He granted me time off for the first time in forever, and almost as soon as the wordspassed his lips I had my weekend planned.

Each day I read and wrote, and at night I watched whatever I wanted without having to hear anyone gripe. That's a rarity in this household. And while I typically don't watch a ton of T.V. or have any shows to which I'm devoted, it's still nice at the end of the day to put on a program you actually have an interest in viewing.

Rather than being subjected to endless hours of “Finding Big Foot,” in which no one ever actually finds Big Foot most likely due to the fact that he's a mythical creature. Or watch back to back episodes of “Gold Rush,” in which nobody ever finds gold or the random “Ancient Aliens,” program in which I doubt they ever find ancient aliens. I watched hours and hours of “Love It or List It” and the whole first season of “Girls,” which I got on DVD as a gift because we don't have HBO, and even if we did have HBO I wouldn't be able to watch it because Kevin would be too busy Finding Big Foot.

These little pleasures may not sound like much, but that weekend was quite possibly the best days of my life. I could do what I wanted when I wanted. I was free. And, I found I really love freedom.

For two solid days the weight of daily life lifted. I didn't have to nag the kids about schoolwork. I didn’t have to nag them about brushing their teeth. I didn’t have to nag them about cleaning their rooms or putting away their clothes or getting ready for bedtime or practicing their guitars or taking a bath or making their beds. I didn't have to monitor the kids' time on the computer or iphone or Wii or T.V. I didn't have to plan and coordinate anyone's schedules. I didn't have to drive anyone to basketball or lacrosse or soccer or anything. I didn't have to do any household chores (the house never got dirty), and I never once made a meal. I think I even lost a little weight. I was responsible for only myself. Can you imagine? And it's really nice being responsible for just one person.

While I knew this time alone would be renewing, I had no idea exactly how much I would savor every second without my love or my children. And, I realized something. I could be quite happy reading and writing and never leaving my home. I could slip rather easily into the hermit lifestyle. In fact, I believe that’s the lifestyle for me. So wonderful was this time I may never speak or interact with anyone ever again. Well, I’ll speak to my family, but only if they promise to leave me alone more often.

About the Author

Stacey of onefunnymotha

One Funny Motha's award-winning work can be found on her eponymous blog , where she provides incisive cultural commentary, otherwise known as common sense, as well as on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Aiming Low and numerous other parenting websites. She is also the proud founder of the Detached Parenting Movement, a child-rearing model she single-handedly developed without any guidance or advanced degrees in child psychology. Currently, she's at work on a memoir.

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