Dear Friend, From A New Mom

Kimberly Patterson Baby

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Dear Friend,

Please know that I do value our friendship. Your texts and emails did not get lost. What has gotten lost is my time. This new little person in my life, who I love dearly, has taken control of that life and quite honestly, I don't know when I will get it all back.

Thank you for you inviting me out for drinks with the girls, in hindsight I should have gone. I also appreciate the article you emailed me on How to Survive the Newborn Period. You are so right about the term, 'being in the trenches' that is exactly how it feels.

I cannot believe Elizabeth is six-months old. She is sitting up on her own, which is adorable. Wish I could say she is sleeping through the night, but not yet. Happy to report the husband has had no sleep interruptions since we brought Lizzy home from the hospital. (sigh). Men.

As exhilarating as this experience has been. And exhausting (let's be honest). I wish I would have done things differently in the past. To make amends for the future, please read my requests and plans for our friendship moving forward:

1. Please don't give up on me. Keep inviting me to social functions. If need be drag me out of the house, even if that requires getting the husband to cut the yoga pants off my legs.

2. Make me accountable. Friendship is a two-way street, you shouldn't have to do all the work. With that in mind, if I am flaking out on you too often, call me out on it! Just because I am a new mother and have new responsibilities that doesn't mean I can take you for granted.

3. Remind me that I am first and foremost a human. Yes, I procreated and am now a mother, but I'm also a woman with her own thoughts, attitudes, opinions and feelings. Make sure I express those when we are together.

4. New rule: no baby talk. Okay, maybe a tiny bit. Just don't let me go on and on about the baby when we are together. You really don't need to hear about what color the baby's poop was today, or a play-by-play of floor time. If I go there, cut me off. Our time is for us to get away from the kids and have girl time. Let's never forget that.

5. Wanna get-away? At some point in the next six-months when I have enough milk supply stashed away, we need to go someplace for a girls retreat. I don't care if it's at a spa in our own hometown, we just need to get away for at least two nights. Hold me to this!

6. Remind yourself that you are loved by me! I know that I have not been the best friend recently. I highly underestimated how overwhelming this whole motherhood thing would be. Just please never forget that you were here first, you have dibs and as much as that little girl has stole my heart, you will always be my best friend!

It is my hope that this list not only gets us through the next six months, but for the years to come. As our families grow and life gets busier, I want us to grow closer together instead of further apart. A friendship like ours is rare. You are irreplaceable. Thank you for your patience with me. Please continue to hang in there with me as I dig myself out of the trenches.


A New Mother


About the Author

Kimberly Patterson

Kimberly Patterson, her husband and two children live in the Tampa Bay area. Kimberly has been a freelance writer for seven years. She is a regular contributor for a local online magazine in her area, 83 Degrees Media. Her work has also been featured on The and as a ghost blogger for various corporate sites.

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April 2016 – SUPPORT
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