The other night I had dinner with a fellow blogger. I asked her if she blogged full-time or if she worked too. She replied, “Oh no, I hardly have any time to blog. I’m a full-time mom.”

Oh, right, of course. I hadn’t even thought about how parenting factored into her time management.  At first, I felt a twinge of guilt that I hadn’t considered this woman’s “most-important” job.

Then I started to think.

I am a mother and I work full-time in an office. Plus, I blog. My full-time office job is very important because it feeds my family. My blogging job is important because it feeds my soul. I never think about parenting as a job. It’s just a fact. I have a family.

And then I thought some more.

If I am a full-time worker, does that make me a part-time mother? And if I run a small business in addition to my day job, what does that make me? A really crappy mother?

We figured out the mominology for stay-at-home mothers a long time ago. I never ask a mother, “Do you work?” I ask, “Do you work outside the home?” because I know that what women do in the home is work.  But if they respond, “No, I am a full-time mom. How about you?” What should I say?

I could say,

“Part-time mom here. I was full-time, but I scaled back. I wanted more time to spend with my employer.”

Or,

“Me? I parent about 10-20 hours a week. Sometimes more if there’s a lot to do. It’s nice. It gives me the flexibility to do other things.”

Or maybe,

“I was parenting but everything was falling apart around me. So I am full-time at the office again. I just couldn’t do both.”

Or perhaps,

“Yes. I work. And between you and me, sometimes I feel like giving birth was a waste because I never use my parenting skills, but I just really didn’t want to be home everyday so I quit. Maybe I’ll go back someday, after the business is more stable, but right now my clients need me.”

I decided to do some math. There are 24 hours in a day, less the 10 hours my kids sleep. That leaves 14 hours. Less the six hours they’re in school. That leaves eight available hours. And out of those eight, I am gone—commuting or working—for four.

But I am always a mother. I sit in my car during the morning commute worrying about my son’s spelling test and my daughter’s new friendships. I take a call from the school nurse in the middle of a team meeting. I email their soccer coaches, and schedule play dates from my desk.

So I  think the next time someone says, “I am a full-time mom. How about you?” I will respond, “Me? I parent enough hours to get full benefits.”

Excerpted from Mogul, Mom & Maid: The Balancing Act of the Modern Woman (Bibliomotion 2013) with permission of the publisher.