on Social Media

Technology and the Modern Marriage: A Love Story

Technology and the Modern Marriage: A Love Story

I love technology. I can’t say that I understand half of all the technology out there, but the stuff I have managed to figure out is very cool. But I am also spoiled by technology. Like when I want to know about the mating habits of the platypus, I don’t want to wait 30-45 seconds for buffering. Who has that kind of time these days? Sadly, I have become a slave to technology, never wandering too far from my phone or computer, lest I miss out on something fabulous happening somewhere in the stratosphere. I have also found that technology is slowly encroaching on my marriage.

The other night my husband and I were sitting on the couch, enjoying the quiet that comes once our daughter is in bed; he was reading mindless drivel on his iPad and I was scrolling through nonsense on my iPhone. I sent him a text.

Remember when we actually had to look at each other to talk? I sent.

Yeah, I’m glad those days are gon. He texted back.

It really helps keep our conversations to a minimum. We can totally save our energy and get to the essence of conversation quickly and efficiently. And, you do know that there is an ‘e’ at the end of ‘gone,’ right? I texted.

That was a lot of words for someone who is saving her energy. And I left the ‘e’ off on purpose. He texted.

What kind of madman just leaves letters off of words? I sent.

The kind of man who knows you love correcting him. I just gave you something to do. Your welcome. He texted.

It’s ‘you’re’ and thanks for keeping me fulfilled with your lack of grammatical prowess. I texted back.

Are we done now? He texted.

Not quite. I was thinking we need to spice things up between us. I sent.

You have my full attention. He sent back.

I want us to start using hashtags. I texted.

Hashtags? He sent while letting out a disappointed sigh.

Yes, apparently you just type a number sign by some words and it automatically makes whatever you just typed like eight times cooler. I sent.

My life’s goal has always been to be eight times cooler than my current state. He texted, the sarcasm almost palpable.

Ok, text something with a hashtag. I sent.

Why are we doing this #. He sent.

Come on, you’re not even trying. We need to try new things even if it defies all logic. We tried Red Bull during the whole energy drink craze, right? #redbull #gavemediarrhea #foraweek #letsneverdothatagain. I texted. #gotaheadachereadingthat. He sent.

#atleastitwasntdiarrhea. I sent.

Ok, we tried it. Can we stop now? And the next time you suggest we try something new, can it be something a little more risqué? He sent.

#imakenopromises.

 

***

February 2015 - XO
Brought to you by - Sexplanations
To learn about sponsoring a mamalode theme contact: info@mamalode.com
Categories: Relationships

Brandi Haas

Brandi Haas is the slightly neurotic and very sarcastic author of the new book, "Tales from Suburbia: You Don't Have to be Crazy to Live Here, But it Helps." You can also find her suburban ramblings on her Facebook page and on her Tales from Suburbia.
Read More
image of Brandi Haas

More Like This

Tell us what YOU think!

Commenting Guidelines

  • Mamalode is about creating connections so please comment and connect.
  • We allow discussion and discourse, but not disgust or disrespect.
  • We do moderate so be patient please.
  • We reserve the right to remove comments for any reason.
  • Play nice. We are in this together.