The first time I talked to my dad again after our estrangement, I was calling to tell him I was about to make him a grandpa.

If I had to give this motherhood chapter a title I would call it, “The Fight of My Life.”

It all starts this year, this bittersweet year of firsts.

My intentions are always good, but my follow-through is shaky at best.

I feel nervous. Nervous for these next four years and the changes they’ll bring; and especially for how those changes will affect the world my daughter grows up in.

I’ve never been one for making New Year’s resolutions, mostly because I’ve failed one too many times.

It’s still hard for me to fathom that this will be my last Christmas in the place I grew up, maybe ever.

Trying to co-parent is hard, and for me sharing holidays is one of the most difficult parts.

When does that desire for stability stand in the way of our personal growth?

I wouldn’t give up any of my motherhood worries for all the irresponsible shenanigans in the world.