And then our child is born autistic, and here in front of us is that level of aloneness we have worked our whole lives not to feel. And to love them as deeply as we do, we have to accept our total separation.

This limitless love and well-honed intention could not have prepared us for a disaster as profound as chronic illness.

In our family, being the eldest brother doesn’t always mean meeting your milestones first and sometimes a younger sibling has to step up.

I wanted what I’ve never wanted—to be told, moment by moment, what to do next. I wanted the pressure of knowing what’s best to be anyone’s pressure but mine.

I felt like Valerie and I were all alone, stranded with our precious flower, unsure of how best to help our son but determined to protect him no matter what.