I laid still. The feeling of euphoria swallowed me whole. I stared at the stark white hospital walls, allowing the beeping machines sing me to sleep. The worst is over, they kept telling me.

At least I was numb now.

I was oblivious; yet fully aware of what would come next.

The only thing keeping me going was the end.

It’s time, the nurse told me.

I glanced at my husband, his face full of emotion.

I love you, he whispered.

He clenched my hand; like he always did when I was scared.

I love you too.

I glanced at my mom, her eyes full of anticipation.

I love you, she whispered.

She stroked my forehead; like she had when I was a little girl.

I love you too.

The doctor arrived. Complete with blue scrubs and freezing hands.

Are you ready? He asked me.

A rhetorical question; nobody can ever be ready.

It’s time, the nurse repeated again.

I had dreamed and agonized about this moment for nine months.

I began to push.

And push.

And push.

I was a warrior. I was going to bring a life into this world.

Me…

I was amazing.

A noise infused the air.

The sound I had been waiting for.

A girl, he said.

Even though we already knew.

She’s perfect, the doctor exclaimed.

Sweat poured off my forehead and dissolved into my tears.

The nurse placed her upon my chest; I breathed her in.

I love you.

I love you.

And I repeated it over and over.

Wisps of light colored hair. My petite nose. My husband’s cupid mouth. A quarter sized birthmark on the small of her back. She was ours.

Hello; baby girl. It’s me, Mom.

My heart overflowed with joy and fear.

***