I drove home from work determined to go about life as usual. From the depths of my soul, I yearned for status quo. I took the exact same route, parked my car in the very same spot, and walked directly to the mailbox, as usual. There were two pieces of mail that day: a free sample of Carefree maxi pads and a gossip magazine featuring pregnant starlets. I sank to the ground, perched on the curb, and melted into hysterics. The universe was conspiring against me, mocking me from afar.