Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party

Brenna Jennings Toddlers & Pre-School

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10. There are half-full, brightly colored cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.

9. There’s always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in the corner.

8. It’s best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone’s going to start banging on the door.

6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

5. You’ve got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

4. There’s definitely going to be a fight.

3. You’re not sure whether anything you’re doing is right; you just hope it won’t get you arrested.

2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.

1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

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About the Author

Brenna Jennings

Brenna Jennings is a writer, photographer and full-time web designer. Her resume of pro-bono work includes raising one daughter, two dachshunds, and writing about her adventures in accidental parenthood at

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