At one time or another we all put our dreams on the backburner. However, through the hurt and disappoint of broken dreams other dreams emerge that you never knew you had. Like many before me, I had aspirations that were still on the ground floor of working themselves out. Then three years ago a dream came true that I didn’t know I always wanted. He was 8 pounds, 3 ounces with big blue eyes.
He was unexpected. But when this dream came true it also brought a better side to my life. Everything that once seemed so important didn’t matter. I never thought that such a little thing could turn my world upside down, then right back up again. In one fell swoop, the love for this little guy consumed me.
I was lost before the birth of my son. I was on the verge of flunking out of college. I had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life. But, when I found out I was pregnant it was like a light was turned on inside of me. Every action and every thought was now about him. My goal became about trying to figure out how to make his life better. He became my-everything. Nothing else mattered. I knew that I did not want my son to pay for any of my mistakes.
One thing I figured out from my new little dream come true was that I had to bring all my forgotten dreams front and center. What better way to show your child that dreams are possible than to go after all your forgotten ones!
I was able to get another chance in school and found a part time job. I changed my major to something I loved and found professors that kept their doors open to me whenever I was in need of extra help. I learned to keep communication lines open and talked to family and friends whenever things started to get to hard. I now had a support system in place for every aspect of my life. For the first time I actually felt like I belonged, that I had a purpose.
Loaded up with classes and with a newborn at home, I had to get creative. He spent the days with his dad and I would run home every chance I had just to see him for a minute. On days I didn’t have class I would be at work. Then I would have to rush home so that my sons’ father could then go to work for the night. Let’s just say we saw very little of each other during this time. I ran all day between school and work and he ran all night. What kept me going was the knowledge that we were pushing ourselves to make a better life for our son. We were making the right choices and doing what needed to be done.
It’s still a work in progress, but we’ve made some big strides. Last year, I graduated with a bachelors degree. My heart was full the day I walked across that stage with my parents and new family looking on. It was a good day, but without the love for one little boy, I don’t think I would have made it that far.