Elle Woods’ America

Kelly Bandas Adoption

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It has been months and it still feels surreal. And I'm not talking about the, “This is too good to be true!” kind of surreal, I'm talking about the “Crap, I'm naked in the middle of third period.” kind of surreal.

And for that reason, I need to work. I need to do. Because if I sit on my computer and fixate on my CNN.com pop-ups, all I will think about all day is Breitbart and Bannon and big, bad, billionaire boogiemen.

So today I am focusing on fundraising for our adoption. And although that might not sound like much, for me – it's a huge exercise in humility. Because, I don't like to ask for help. I don't like to appear weak, or in-need or like I don't have my shit together. But I can be, and I am, and I don't.

But if this election has taught me anything, it's that we need to lean on each other—now more than ever. There isn't a one of us who can make it through this alone.

When our family started this journey towards adoption several months ago, I was adamant that I did not want to share the details with anyone outside our immediate circle. Adoption is a private issue and should be dealt with as such. No photos. No blogs. Nada. But as I continued to express this sentiment to a few of my closest confidants, someone* much wiser than I, spoke a few very powerful words into my heart: “People want to help. Let them.”

Those words really resonated with me, with regards to our adoption and beyond. People do want to help. They want to be there for each other. To pick each other up, to meal-train and carpool, to pray for each other, to march with one another. To cry together; to celebrate; to hold hands. We want to do that for each other. It's in our DNA. It's part of survival.

So while I might be feeling discouraged during this moment in our history, I am also hopeful. Hopeful, that we will be a nation of helpers. Of do-ers: people that choose action and unity over spite and fear.

I'll leave you with just one final thought, that I hope is as powerful for you as it is for me:

“[Helping] gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't [ruin countries]. They just don't.”


About the Author

Kelly Bandas

Half stay-at-home-mom, half speech language pathologist, Kelly Bandas is that sexy hybrid of SAHM/WOH* momma that just couldn’t commit to one lifestyle. is a peek inside her world of raising two boys, playing Yahtzee with her husband and doing all sorts of other grownup-y stuff, without having to act too grownup-y about it.

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