You’re A Good Mom

Morgan Starr essays

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Sometimes I stop and wonder whether I’m a good mom. It’s easy to compare, right? You’ve probably heard of the “mommy wars,” or noticed someone else’s pictures on social media of perfectly groomed and dressed children or of about a hundred beautifully wrapped gifts placed carefully under a Christmas tree. I know that I have and consequently have thought to myself, Wow, am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? I recently read something that said that if you have ever stopped to wonder whether you’re a good mom, you probably are.

So here it is: you’re a good mom.

If you took your prenatal vitamins even though they made you sick, or if you forgot sometimes, you’re a good mom.

If you counted your unborn baby’s kicks, worried about him, wondered who he would become, read all the parenting books you could, or anxiously awaited your little one’s arrival, you’re a good mom.

If you were scared to death on the day of delivery, or if you were as confident as can be, you’re a good mom.

And if you were in labor for 10 minutes, or 24 hours, or if you had a c-section, you’re a good mom because you brought that baby into the world in the best possible way.

If you nursed your baby, if you pumped, or if you fed your baby formula, you’re a good mom.

If you held your new child and were in awe of the beautiful person that you created, and if you were scared or thrilled or didn’t know what the hell you were supposed to do or how to even change a diaper but you figured it out, you’re a good mom.

If you rocked him to sleep or if he didn’t sleep at all and even if he ended up sleeping on your chest for the first month, you’re still a good mom.

And if he co-slept or was in a bassinet or was in his crib from day one, you’re a good mom because you did what you thought was best.

If he rolled at three months old or not until six, or if he walked early or walked late, and if you wondered if he was hitting his milestones on time and if the timing was normal, you’re a good mom because you cared.

And if you cried the first time he really got hurt, because you thought it was all your fault that he tripped because you weren’t fast enough to grab him, and if you almost had a panic attack when you noticed that there was a little blood, you’re still a good mom.

If you stay at home and take care of your kids 24/7, an often thankless job, or if you work and you cry every day after you drop your kids off with a sitter, or if you don’t cry because you welcome a little break, you’re a good mom.

When your baby was sick or cutting teeth and wouldn’t sleep, and you would’ve given ANYTHING for a little rest, but you stayed up and rocked and sang and patted and swayed and bounced and cuddled, despite the baby’s tears and maybe even your own, you were being a good mom.

And when he got older and ornery and knocked down his little brother, or he didn’t  share with a friend, and you took him to time out, or you yelled, or spanked, or gave a firm talking to, or disciplined however you do, you were a good mom because you were teaching right from wrong.

And when you read just one more bedtime story, or you made one up, or you sang a silly song, made up a rhyme, did a puzzle, colored a picture, or counted with him, you were a good mom.

When you spent all of your money on things for the kids and not for yourself, you were a good mom.

When you ate that cold plate of food because you were too busy begging your toddler to eat, you were a good mom.

And when he’s older and out with friends and you’re hoping he’s making good decisions because God knows you tried to teach him, you’re still a good mom.

And when he’s grown and you STILL worry, even though he’s got a job, and a car, and a wife, and a family of his own, you’re a good mom because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

Don’t doubt yourself. We all have weak moments, we all get self-conscious, and we all are just doing our best to make the right choices and raise good kids. So here’s to you, mom. You’re awesome.


About the Author

Morgan Starr

When Morgan Starr isn't working on beefing up her parenting resume with help from her two boys, she can be found at her job as a high school English teacher, ranting about comma splices and semi-colons. In her free time, which is few and far between, she can be found blogging at or about all of the aforementioned ridiculousness.

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