12 Things I Miss About My Pre-Baby Life

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo Baby

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1. Pooping alone. Number one thing.

2. Reading. I used to be an avid reader. I don't have time anymore. And certainly not while my son is awake.

3. Time to think. I never realized how much time I had to think before. I'm not talking deep meditation. Just being able to concentrate on one thing. Like while walking to the subway or driving or taking a shower. Now my attention is always on keeping a little human alive. Even if someone is holding him so I can shower, my mind is racing in a million directions with all the things I need to do or if I'm using this 'break' most efficiently.

4. Girl's Night Out. It was never a regular thing. But I'd occasionally go out to dinner or just drinks with a girlfriend or two. We could talk for hours about topics both meaningful and trivial. Now, even if I could find the time and a free babysitter, I'm too tired to go anywhere.

5. Showering on a Daily Basis.

6. Watching TV in bed. We live in a one bedroom apartment. The crib is six inches from my side of the bed. Pre-baby, my husband and I would watch TV in bed at night. Now, we don't want to wake the baby. Even if we kept it low and by some miracle he didn't wake, I'm pretty sure it would be a bad thing psychologically for him to hear zombie noises in his sleep.

7. Talking on the Phone. Babies seem to take their mom talking on the phone as a personal affront. I fear I sound like a disorganized, undisciplined mess to whoever is on the other end of the line. I can't get half a sentence out without having to stop.

8. Shopping. It's always been a beloved activity of mine to wander, browse, try on, etc. Many of the stores I used to frequent on a weekly basis can barely fit a stroller through their aisles. And kids aren't too patient about long browsing sessions.

9. Getting Regular Haircuts. When my son was a newborn, I was worried about him breathing in the strong chemicals at the salon. Once he was past the sleep-in-the-Baby Bjorn stage, he wouldn't sit still long enough for me to get a cut. Oh well, I don't have any extra money anyway. I now have Sister Wife hair.

10. Keeping the TV on all day. When I was home alone during the day, I'd keep the TV on one of the cable news networks as I puttered about. I don't want my son watching TV so much. And I certainly can't have him hearing the adult themes of the news. “Mama, what's a suicide bomber?”

11. Feeling sexy. Fine, I said it. Yes, my boobs are big but they feel like humongous milk-filled tumors that smart at the slightest touch. And my belly button now has a fold of skin hanging over it. Not to mention that the thought of exerting myself physically after baby's bedtime, even if it is for carnal pleasure, makes me need a nap.

12. Getting along with my husband. It's impossible not to be short-tempered when you are sleep deprived. Not to mention money deprived. And it's easy to take it out on the person who gets to leave the house and be in the company of grown-ups on a daily basis. Even if he is bringing home the bacon, as they say.

What do YOU miss?


About the Author

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo is a mom and working actress.She is the creator/writer/and producer of , an online network of comedy shows for moms. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom, Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. She lives in Manhattan with her husband and their son. Follow her on .

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