I thought the goodbyes to childhood would choke me and that my grief would steal my joy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

If I’d been at an adult only pool party, with only peers watching, I’d have felt like a dork. But with my daughter’s proud eyes on me, I felt ridiculously brave. 

There are so many more Bennys than Caitlyns. There are so many who live their lives in secret and shame when they deserve to feel love and acceptance.

“You're here for the swimming test, right?” said Jeff, the teen lifeguard with red trunks that hit mid-thigh and blonde feathered hair, parted down the middle. He was beyond cute.

Even though sometimes we feel like nothing we do is working, we know to keep trying, because each day we are blessed with little rewards for our hard work.

These times that they played together, the geek and the jocks, afternoons filled with teasing, filth, joy, injury and encouragement . . . those are the experiences that shape a childhood and strengthen the bonds of brotherhood.

The assumption that women’s primary function is to be “cute,” to not upset or startle anyone around them with “unfeminine” behavior, deserves to be called out loudly and aggressively. 

You’re a woman now whether you like it or not. There is one important thing you need to know. Your vagina is not a tchotchke.

This decision does not come without a heavy dose of guilt. My husband would love to have one more child.

I asked my husband to handle the teeth brushing, the book reading, the cuddling. He needs interaction; I need to be alone.