When Anna was four, we said farewell to some very special friends. I had known them for over a year. I had opened my house and my heart to them and they were, quite literally, part of our family. This is their story.

On the drive home from preschool one day, Anna told me something quite upsetting.

I had asked her where Flower had been. Last I heard from Anna, she was living in Auntie’s basement in Seattle. But I was misinformed. OK, deep breath…… Anna told me that Flower wasn’t real. “She’s just pretend, Mommy” she explained. I’m flabbergasted. Then I asked about the others: Dress, Shy, Teeth, The Silly Girls, Annanna, Chef Anna, and no, not Nurse Anna!

They are all pretend.

Anna told me they are “her characters” and not real. Not one of them.

So, as you might imagine, on some level this is quite a shock and loss to us. So I thought I owed a little tribute to them. While I think they all played various important roles in our lives, I will focus on a few.

Flower

I first met flower when she appeared as a princess during a dress-up session at a friend’s house. She appeared seemingly out of nowhere, but quickly transformed from a princess to “Mommy’s Friend Flower.” Flower and I spent a lot of time together. Often she would appear when we were visiting someone. And in that case, I would have to introduce Flower as my friend and also tactfully explain that she and Anna looked very similar. I talked to Flower on her “phone” quite frequently and often she would offer to pick Anna up at school (at the time Anna had not even started school). Flower liked to run errands for me too and I found her grocery shopping quite useful, even if it was limited to what we already had in the house.

Anna and Flower liked to dance together. However, Flower and Anna never really played together, because, I suppose, Flower was Mommy’s friend. Anna made this quite clear at her school birthday party. When I showed up with the cupcakes, Anna was in the corner talking, quite loudly, to Flower. Several months prior to that, she started having more intense conversations with all her “friends.” To watch her was like watching a one-woman show on Broadway. She would say something and then jump into the other friend’s spot and reply. She wasn’t just talking, she was playing a role…

So, I walk into the classroom and one of the teachers and several of the kids were just staring at her. Given that she doesn’t seem to talk at school it looked a little weird. OK, it would probably look weird if she did talk too. When I inquired, the teacher told me she just started. Oh, OK then… So, we sing and I show photos and tell stories about Anna. Well, somehow I happened to mention that Anna had lots of imaginary friends, and one, Flower, was here with us now. (I know, probably the wrong thing to do). Anna got pretty upset and said, in front of everyone, “Mommy, Flower is YOUR friend, not mine!” So, there we have it.

Then she moved. Out of the blue, no card or call. Anna told me she lived in my sister’s basement in Seattle and as far as I knew she was still there. That was, until the devastating news that Flower was just make-believe.

Flower, I will miss you.

Shy

As you can tell from the above photo, it really is difficult to distinguish Anna from Flower. In fact, I’m hoping that is even a photo of Flower! Many of Anna’s other friends had some distinguishing characteristics which allowed me to know who I was either talking to or watching dance.

Shy is one of those. She didn’t say much and really only liked to dance, but I could always tell it was her.

The Silly Girls

Not sure how to feel about them (yes, there were two). When they first showed up they were LOUD. They just screamed, yelled, bickered with each other, and were downright mean. I told Anna I didn’t like them. So she said they were “trying to be nice.” And they were, but they were never quite as nice as some of the others. And when they danced, they always fought with each other.

I should also add that I don’t know their names. During a visit from a relative who was curious about these non-named girls, she asked Anna, “you mean nobody knows their names?” “Well, somebody does” was the answer.

Nurse Anna

Perhaps the greatest loss to our family was Nurse Anna.

Nurse Anna was very helpful. She worked the early part of the night shift, often arriving much earlier than the night nurses we had for Gia. She would get Gia’s feeding bag ready, adding the milk and priming it herself so we could hook up the machine and, subsequently, Gia to the continuous night feeding through her feeding tube. If it wasn’t so physically difficult to attach the bag to the machine I have no doubt that Nurse Anna could’ve done it all. We found her to be very careful and efficient, not once spilling any milk.

Regretfully, I don’t have any photos of Nurse Anna. She was a very busy woman, as I was told she had eleven kids, all with feeding tubes. Honestly, I don’t know how she found the time. I don’t think she was married because she and her kids moved into Nurse Elaine’s (a real nurse :smile:) house. Elaine was not aware of this until after it happened, but I have to give her credit for opening her house to all those special needs kids and a single mom. I also don’t think she was married because at one point, our normally reliable Nurse Anna, just stopped coming. When I asked Anna what happened she told me that “Nurse Anna and Chef Anna ran away together”. Apparently, she told me, “they were in love”.

In all seriousness, I really will miss them. Perhaps I will see them again sometime, or meet new friends when Gia is older. Until then, I will hold them close to my heart.