The hands that hold my kiddo’s hands, the cheeks nuzzling into my partner’s chest, those once-scattered ideas that find a place to become something inspiring—all of me is better when I breathe intentionally. Including my sex.
I remember sitting in a plush Ikea chair, a budding doctor of human sexuality, excited to learn about sexual enhancement from the great Joseph Kramer. He was guest lecturing at the institute I attended and came with an incredible reputation: responsible for people all over the world having full-body orgasms.
I wasn’t after something so eruptive but I did want my curiosity massaged.
It may seem like having an orgasm is accomplishment enough. Seeking something that quakes your whole being and lasts and lasts might be more intensity and effort than the day can carry. But don’t you want to know the secrets? What could impress sexuality so remarkably? What gives?
Breathing. For six hours of our school day, Joseph-Full body-Kramer guided his pupils through breathing exercises again (hold. exhale), again, (hold. inhale), and again. We would do counts of eight, drawing in breaths with our mouths, across our brains, and out our nostrils. Then we would linger at the top of the inhale and the bottom of the exhale. Quick breaths, deep breaths, swirled-up or flattened out, we learned how to pull oxygen in the way a pianist dances notes across a sheet of music. Six hours.
That is what it took—for me to connect mindlessly to my body. To not think about the day ahead or the one that got away but to be in my mouth and my nostrils enriching my blood with air that would reach all the other parts of me, including my pelvis parts.
Better breathing. Better sex. Better lives.