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The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift for Your Man

The Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift for Your Man

I’m not particularly fond of Valentine’s Day or V-day as I like to call it in solidarity with other national holidays recognizing historic moments of strife. So don't expect any sappy, starry-eyed Valentine’s Day posts from me. My husband’s a lucky man. But I do try to show my affection and appreciation for my husband in some small, practical way once a year, and I suppose V-Day is as good a day as any.

The only problem is on the one day I actually plan to show my love it’s hard to find a gift. Buying for my husband is always so difficult and even more so on Valentine's Day, which is why in the past I tried to avoid it.

I do enjoy picking out little goodies for my kids, though, like the pink, glitter teddy bears holding hearts between their paws embroidered with the phrase, “I Wuv u!” Or large, heart-shaped Sponge Bob heads filled with gummy krabby patties. Or red little stuffed devils embroidered with “little devil,” across the belly in case you missed it. Or fuzzy heart shaped antennae attached by wire coils to headbands because those go with everything.

But my husband doesn’t really want little devils or pink teddy bears even if they do express my feelings for him. He’s got to be so damned difficult.

And this year, which is really no different from every other year, I was a little slow on the draw in the gift department so I figured it was going to be even tougher to find something special to express my affection for him. I didn’t even go out in search of the mass-produced, made-in-China, plastic tchotchkes until a few days before the big event. Actually, I went out for milk, but while I was in the store I said, “Hey, you know what? I should probably pick up some Valentine’s Day Cards.” Which lead me to the candy aisle, which lead me to say, “Hey, I should probably get gifts, too.”

And, let me tell you at Walgreens I hit the jackpot. I mean I can always scrounge up some sort V-Day treat for my kids out of the picked-over rejects, but I never thought I’d be able to find a gift there for my man. And, not only did I find one, but it was also the most perfect Valentine’s Day gift ever. One he’s sure to treasure for years to come. And to think I was just going to buy him a card. Lucky for him I found this. It’s going to be hard to top.

Did you see that right? Take a closer look.


Caution: Contents are HOT!  

What man wouldn’t want boxer shorts that said that? But it’s my man that gonna get them.

I think this is going to be a good Valentine’s Day.
 

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Categories: essays

Stacey of onefunnymotha

One Funny Motha's award-winning work can be found on her eponymous blog One Funny Motha, where she provides incisive cultural commentary, otherwise known as common sense, as well as on The Huffington Post, Mamapedia, Aiming Low and numerous other parenting websites. She is also the proud founder of the Detached Parenting Movement, a child-rearing model she single-handedly developed without any guidance or advanced degrees in child psychology. Currently, she's at work on a memoir.
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