I was going to write about how this process has been exhausting, frustrating, and disappointing. How hard it is to be away from my firstborn when she calls crying everyday …
Dear mom sitting across from me, I will add you in my prayer, if you will add me in yours. Together we will sit here in silence and pray our children healthy.
Change takes time to feel like a new normal. I always feel like I just got here though. No matter what “here” I'm talking about.
While I might secretly wish that Isabella understood how different her life would be without T1D, it’s days like this that I’m reminded that she is not defined by this disease.
I wish you understanding, true love, happiness and most of all the gift of knowing and loving an angel here on earth with Down Syndrome.
You see, a 4 year old doesn’t understand that without insulin, you die. A 4 year old doesn’t understand words like “incurable” or “chronic”—but they do understand that needles hurt and finger pokes sting.
In doing our laundry and cooking our meals and taking care of our children, they were putting themselves on the road with us. We didn’t have to face the task of getting our family through this crisis alone.
First of all I just want to say that I am very thankful for ears. And, I suppose just like other important body parts, I had just taken normal hearing and ear structure for granted.
When Gia was born, her left ear was deformed. I figured that if it looked malformed on the outside, that something might be wrong on the inside. I pestered the NICU staff about when the hearing screening would take place and I was not surprised when she failed. They told me that it was not uncommon to fail the screening because it was a generalized test and the NICU was a noisy place. But when she had her first sedated hearing test with the audiologist, her hearing impairment was confirmed. Since then she’s had several more sedated hearing tests, wears bilateral hearing aids and we see the audiologists monthly.
And yet, tonight, in the ER, I squeeze back a few tears, tears that feel like that mix of gratitude and fear that’s been stalking me since I gave birth seven years ago.
In the early days of August, at the end of my fifth month of pregnancy, my baby was brought into this world weighing just over a pound.